The Prophet (peace be upon him) was once asked, “What is more important than prayer?” He replied, “The spirit of prayer.” He was asked what is more important than fasting – he replied, “The spirit of fasting.” For each question concerning an Islamic practice the answer was the same – the spirit that animates the practice, because the spirit brings the action to life and unfolds its potentials. Without this animating spirit, the prayer is only movement, and the fasting is only hunger. But when the spirit enters, when a pure and concentrated intention enters, the action becomes transformative.
So what is more important than marriage? It is the spirit of marriage, the intention which underlies it. The treasures hidden within it must be brought out and realized by the couple themselves.
The Qur’an says: “It is He who created you from a single soul and made its mate of like nature in order that you might dwell with her.” (7:189)
The male and female complete each other – together they make a single self and this is how they must strive to make their lives together – as if they are one being, one person, one spirit.
The Qur’an says: “Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.” (2:187)
A husband and wife complement each other – each one takes on a new aspect of their humanity, a new facet and depth to their personality. This beautiful and appropriate metaphor explains the varied duties and obligations of man and woman in the married life.
The garment when worn is next to our body; so let husband and wife be so attached to each other in their mutual love and affection. The garment hides our nakedness and covers our physical flaws; so let husband and wife hide each other’s secrets and cover each other’s character flaws. The garment also protects the wearer, so let husband and wife be each other’s protectors and helpers. Let them safeguard their partner’s honor, and let them make the marriage a haven of caring shelter, where each is safe and secure. The garment brings grace, beauty, and embellishment to the body; so, too, are wives to their husbands and husbands to their wives.
Since “God created the male and the female from a single soul,” God is the point of reference for the married pair. If the two partners of a marriage set themselves in correct relation to God, then certainly a perfect balance will be realized within their lives together. For this reason, the Prophet (peace be upon him) would recite the verses commanding Reverence to God at weddings and similar gatherings. For it is by revering God, fearing God, and being conscious of God that we can act in the correct way with our family in particular and with society in general.
We ask God to let this couple be helpers and protectors of one another.
We ask God to let them be a refuge and a comfort to one another.
We ask God to let them be beautiful garments for one another.
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2 thoughts on “A Prayer for the Newlyweds”
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Our Pastor in Boston Mosaic church said in his sermon on Proverbs (Wisdom of Solomon): for sure we have a common ground in all 3 major religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) – sex and marriage. ” So what is more important than marriage? It is the spirit of marriage, the intention which underlies it.” Ahmed is always in his best. You can’t say better. One of the most important things is the marriage. “House and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:14). For sure we need to look not at dead letter of the law, but at the spirit. I still under impression after new book: “The Islamic Jesus: How the King of the Jews Became a Prophet of the Muslims” by Mustafa Akyol. He made a very careful research on this theme too. He argues, the message Jesus preached is about the kingdom of God. It was not a political institution or a theocracy, but a spiritual kingdom. Translated to present-day Islam, this would mean that Muslims need not strive to found a caliphate because, as he puts it, “the caliphate is within you.”
I glad that you put some light on this message about marriage, because it became so important today. Strong family – strong religious community.
Very true, Sergey. This was a speech I gave at one of my former student’s wedding. He had asked me to give the speech before the official signing of the contract. Since I knew his family and friends included both Christian and Muslim, and that her family and friends included Hindu and Muslim, I had to compose something that would touch all backgrounds and be relevant for everyone. Honestly, when you break down all the politics and economics in the world, it comes down to family and relationships we have with our community. These are universal, and they are part of the human experience.